


Wth Hansen

by AmazinglyWeird



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Crack Fic, Evan finally makes a friend, He gets to know the real Connor, M/M, Memes, Suicide, They're both ghost buds, and the entire thing is just a shitpost, basically they're both dead and stuck on earth, gays who are ghost, ghost gays, ghost gays shit talking shit people, memes may or may not worm their way into this but whose to say, tags will be added just for my entertainment, there will be angst, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 06:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11799996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazinglyWeird/pseuds/AmazinglyWeird
Summary: I rushed it because I wanted to post it at 4:20.Evan finds himself dreadfully bored with life. His college plans are delayed, the pottery barn fucking sucks(no offense to the horrid old lady running it. Evan is pretty sure she murders the dreams of children as a hobby) and he is horribly lonely. So, since the definition of insanity is to do something you've already done before that resulted with a negative outcome, he decides to one-punch his own bucket. In the end, he finds himself face to face with someone he never truly knew.





	Wth Hansen

“So……. You killed yourself? Even after your happy ending?” Evan shrugs in response.

“It seems so.”

“What the fuck bro.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan Hansen hated his life. Same plot as before really. He was sad and lonely, even with everything working out for him perfectly. He was just bored with everything. Nothing excited him anymore (not like that ew). When he decided to kick the bucket, he found himself thinking of Connor Murphy. When he came to afterwards, he found himself face to face with a someone he never dreamed of seeing again (a liar.) (Remember: The version of Connor Evan is seen with throughout the musical is simply a figure of his imagination. Therefore, this Connor will be very different.)

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PIECE OF SHIT-” (For a drug addict, you’d think he’d learn to take a chill pill.) Connor hollers at Evan, insensitive bastard. (He did just die.)

“Connor?” Evan squeaks out. (He’s 20 and puberty hit him as hard as the premiere of Fuller House. ((I will stand by my opinion and disown the series and whoever disagrees is unfollowed blocked unfriended and unsubscribed)) (jk jk) 

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU- I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D THROW ALL OF THAT AWAY YOU INSUFFERABLE ASS-”

“Connor please stop screaming. My head hurts.” Surprisingly, he shuts up. Evan slowly stands, only to met with an unpleasant view of his own body. “So this is actually happening…..” Connor looks ready to start screaming again, before Evan sighs. “I wonder how long it’ll take to find me.” He does work at a pottery barn. It’ll probably be a while. The only reason why Evan worked in the hell hole was to save up for college. Surprisingly, he doesn’t make enough money to go for years. When he finally does, the stress corrodes him. And then he was just there. And then he was just here, with Connor. As Evan finds he is almost fully awake (woke), he finds he can’t feel a thing. Well, death will do that to you.

“Evan-”

“Yes, Connor?!” He snaps. Connor flinches, guilt painting his face. Then it hits Evan- He didn’t know Connor at all. His Connor was headstrong and……… evil. This Connor was…… indescribable. He looked overwhelmed, and his bottom lip was trapped between his teeth, as if he let go everything would come pouring out. It’d been years since he’d talked to anyone. How lonely-

“What are we going to do?” Connor looks like he’s going to start crying. Evan winces.

“What do you mean? Can’t we just- leave? Heaven or hell-”

“Evan- We committed suicide. As far as I know, there’s no place for us. But, then again, wasn’t that the problem in the first place? Kind of fucked up- and ironic.”

“............... What now?” Evan felt like everything was falling apart. There was no solution, is there? By trying to ‘fix’ everything, he just made it worse- Or maybe. Maybe not.

“How the fuck would I know. I’ve just been watching you this entire time (okay Connor, what the fuck. Evan is a growing adult and sometimes adults do things that deserve privacy. Let the man keep his dignity.). That was the only thing I had going for me. I was a passenger. Now the car crashed, and now not only is the driver dead but so is the fucking car with so much god damned potential-”

“Connor. This is incredible.” Evan spits out, a hopeful smile on his face. Connor pulls a face of utter disgust.

“What the shit Hansen-”

“I can finally get to know you. Connor, we can actually be friends now!! We don’t have to be alone, we have each other!!!” Evan beams. (Note: Evan is still a stupid fucking idiot, but we love him. Suicide is never the answer!!....... Unless it’s a gay fanfiction at 4 in the morning)

“......... It’s the witching hour.”

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit the summary is better than the actual thing.


End file.
